


Nothing Fades Like The Light

by PowerfulLight



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Description in the authors note because of the spoilers, F/M, I've warned you, Seriously Don't Read If You Don't Want Spoilers, TRoS Spoilers, The Rise of Skywalker spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:14:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21858874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PowerfulLight/pseuds/PowerfulLight
Summary: Summary is in the author's note to avoid spoilers!
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 8
Kudos: 44





	Nothing Fades Like The Light

**Author's Note:**

> Summary: A brief glimpse at a year of mourning on Tatooine  
> Tags: mourning, grief, the author is sad, canon compliant but not happy about it
> 
> Hey all! I'm fresh off seeing TROS at the midnight showing and boy, am I sad. While there were parts of the movie I really enjoyed, I wasn't happy with the ending so I've punched this out more as a way to process my own feelings/wishes while still being "canon". 
> 
> The titles is based off an Orville Peck song of the same name. I highly recommend listening to it!
> 
> I'm Powerful_Dark on Twitter!
> 
> Good luck!

The days are longer on Tatooine than on Jakku.  
Rey spends her first days on the desert planet by digging out the Lars homestead from it’s sandy tomb. Sometimes she lets the Force flow and assist her but mostly she uses her hands. It feels familiar, the course texture running through her fingers as she shovels pounds of it from the corridors.  
It’s not easy work but it’s a distraction.  
When the home is cleared she gets to work fixing the moisture catchers. Then the power generators. She builds BB-8 a ramp to get down the steep slope to the front door. In Mos Isley, Rey finds a shop that sells desert flowers and plants them around the property.  
No one ventures out this far into the desert without a purpose, so Rey spends most of her time alone. It isn’t so bad. It’s almost nice, after being around so many people for so long.  
Almost.  
Beside where she sleeps, a padded mat before the house is cleared and then, finally, a bed of her own, she keeps a tally of her days there. She does not know what compels her to pick up this habit again, but she does it anyway.  
By her twenty-fourth day there the house is fully livable.  
It’s a distraction.

Finn and Poe come and visit often. They bring her news, of Rose and Jannah and the other friends she has made over her year with the Resistance. They tell her of the trials and woes of the new government that is being tentaivley established, of trying desperately to learn from the mistakes of the past.  
It’s a nice change of pace. Chewie’s holo messages are usually about whatever planet he and Lando are visiting, and the clean up they’re attempting in smaller systems. But they go weeks without talking when he’s so far out. She misses him, too.

During one of their visits Rey finds Finn outside, staring at the little domed homestead.  
“So much has happened here, can you feel it?” He asks her. “So much sorrow.”  
“Yes. But so much love, too.” Too much time has passed, Rey can only feel the impressions of the memories this place holds. But for each sorrowful moment, there are two of joy. Generations of the Skywalker family loved here. That light burns like a third sun. “Finn, why didn’t you tell me that you felt the Force?”  
Her friend shrugs, “I didn’t understand what it was at first. And by the time I did, you were in the middle of your training. I didn’t want to distract you.”  
“You could have trained with me. I could still train you.” She offers but he just smiles sadly and shakes his head.  
“I’m not a fighter, Rey. Not when I don’t have to be.”  
She can’t imagine it. She fought Palpatine and the First Order. Before that she fought for survival and scrap on Jakku. She’s fought for so long that peace feels like purgatory.  
“Rey,” Finn calls her back from her thoughts. “You don’t have to stay here. You shouldn’t be alone in another desert. Come back with us, there’s a place for you on Coruscant.”  
Rey thinks of the tally beside her bed and looks out at the expanse of sand ahead of her. “It’s not forever. I just need more time.”  
Finn takes her hand and she rests her head against his shoulder. They stay like that, alone and together with each other and the memories this land holds, until Poe calls them back.  
“I didn’t fly this Ronto halfway across the galaxy for it to get cold!” He teases from the doorway.  
They turn inside for night. Rey adds another line to her tally.

When Finn and Poe leave they give her a small package wrapped in stained cloth.  
“This was in Leia’s things.” Poe tells her. “Maz said it was for you.”  
Whatever is in the bundle is light, so light that Rey thinks it may just be the cloth itself. She waits until they’ve said their goodbyes before sitting it on her table with the intention of unwrapping it. But her hands hover above the leather straps that keep it tied shut.  
She knows what is inside but waits. Finn and Poe visit six more times before she’s ready to open it. The generator dies and is rebuilt twice in that time. She has a years worth of tally marks before she’s ready for what she knows she will find inside.

It’s a photo.  
A photo of Ben. The only photo of him she has.  
He’s younger than she’s ever known him in the picture. Rey thinks it must have been taken before he was sent off to Luke’s, or very shortly after. His ears poke through his hair and his full lips are in the sullen pout she had seen him wear the most.  
The memory of his smile comes, the memory or his hands on her face, his lips on hers.  
A cry pulls from Rey’s lips, a wet, painful thing. How cruel, to have only seen his smile once. To have only had a moment to bask in the golden glow of their love before watching the light fade from his eyes.  
There was once a time where she could have killed him, when she nearly did. Now the only joy she feels from his loss is that Ben Solo is no longer haunted. His pain is gone. He is one with the Force and the Force is all around her.  
Rey has read in the ancient texts that the living should rejoice for those who become one with the Force.  
So she cries until no more tears flow, until her breathing evens out. She finds that the pain is still there but that she does not want it to go. Not fully. She thinks of the scar she gave him, of how he would have been reminded of her whenever he caught a glimpse of himself. This is the scar he’s given her.  
“Ben.” She calls to the empty room and though she can’t see him, she knows he’s there with her.  
Always.


End file.
